My body is NOT Open Source.

[rikibeth]

Just in case you weren't clear, here is a list of who, exactly, is allowed to touch my breasts:

1. My infant child, who I am feeding. Please note, I have one daughter, and she is TWELVE, so this category is null. Infants not my own will be handed back to Mom when they start groping, 'cause I got nothin' for 'em.

2. A medical professional screening me for cancer or other abnormalities, at an appointment I have made. PVC nurse outfits, while cute, do not give you access.

3. Someone measuring me for clothing. Bras, corsets, bodices, custom dresses, whatever. If it's important to get the fit right, fine.


4. Someone I'm currently involved with romantically/sexually, IF we are already engaged in kissing/cuddling/other behavior commonly called "making out." If we're just going about our everyday business, DON'T RANDOMLY GRAB. I kinda hate it.

If you're not covered by any category above?

DON'T EVEN ASK.

Got it?

Also, if you even THINK about asking the twelve-year-old daughter, be prepared for me to CALL THE COPS.

I absolutely refuse to wear any sort of button or signifier to remind people of this status.

MY DEFAULT IS NO.

Comments

[tikvah.livejournal.com]

OK, that's just WRONG. Sounds like there's a jackass who needs a reflexive knee to the groin!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

theferrett and friends of his at Penguincon. This had BETTER not come to Arisia.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

If I never hear the phrase "It's not sexual, it's sensual" again, it will be too soon.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Know what? Even though I recognize the distinction, if you feel you need to make it to convince me to do something, YOU ARE NOT IN THE GROUP OF PEOPLE WITH WHOM I WOULD DO SUCH A THING.

[happybluebunny.livejournal.com]

I saw that ferret entry and I will say the same thing to you that I did to the person I first saw posting/reacting to it:
Gross.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I noticed. How do you know kadath?

*sigh*

[panzerschrek.livejournal.com]

And me without a tire-iron and something approaching useful proximity.

Re: *sigh*

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

hey, if you find yourself at a con with theferrett, give him one across the cranium for me.

[medraxellion.livejournal.com]

Awwww, there goes my hopes and dreams. *goes emo*

Seriously though, give anybody who tries it a rough kick in the ass.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Well, see, if you wanted access, you would just have to put in the effort to get into category #4.

Or offer to make me custom clothing, I guess!

Anyone demonstrating that level of cluelessness will get corrected with my PLATFORM PENNANGALANS.

[donnad.livejournal.com]

A kick in the ass? I would give him a knee to the balls.

I'm a person with a very strong need for personal space. Nobody I am not familiar with touches me without permission and if they insist they will get quite an earful if not worse.

[wasabi-poptart.livejournal.com]

I agree with you whole-heartedly. I'm not familiar with the situation that prompted this post, but the whole hyper-sexualized flirty/entitlement vibe given off at cons, ren faires, etc. makes me want to vomit.

[kitwench.livejournal.com]

Ok, I don't have a clue what would give someone any idea they could behave like this, but I must say, on behalf of all ferrets everywhere, THAT one is a disgrace to the name !
*grrrrr*
No one should have to say 'hands OFF!'

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Flirty is fine. I like flirting. It's the entitlement part that skeeves me out. Flirting with me means presenting me with an OFFER of your attention, and I get to decide if I want to accept or reject it. It doesn't put me under any obligation to do anything, and anyone who thinks otherwise is going to find out about Icy Glares, Cutting Comebacks, and, if they don't stay out of my personal space, the old-fashioned Slap to the Face, or me stepping on their foot, or whatever seems suitable.

[la-directora.livejournal.com]

My body is NOT Open Source.

This makes you yet another person who has very succinctly and accurately described my reaction to this whole thing in ways that I couldn't because I was still boggled and spluttering. Amen, sister!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

It may have been easier for me because I really am part of that specific social milieu; I've been going to cons since I was fourteen.

And so not only defending my personal space as it seems like most women have to, but countering those foolish idealist but-sex-isn't-shameful-so-why-won't-you-let-ME arguments, because, sadly, there's a lot of idjits like that in fandom.

Also it has been eating my brain ALL DAY now. I had to say something (instead of just messing around in other people's comments) or I was gonna burst.

[paper-crystals.livejournal.com]

Having read the original post it all seems a little Gorean. The whole idea of you may touch a women's breast unless she says you can't (which is sort of what looks like this comes down to) is assuming and arrogant. If someone is interested in physical contact they should get to know the person and figure out whether this sort of question is appropriate to ask in the first place.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Actually the buttons were supposed to mean that it was okay to ASK the wearer to touch her breasts, and that the mere question would not offend her. Which, fine, if people really want to do that, even if I think ew, but there SHOULD NOT have to be a button for "no, don't ask," and also, it seems to me that allowing the question puts a certain amount of pressure on you to say "yes," because, after all, you'll allow it for some people just on asking, why not me?

Blech.

[ap-aelfwine.livejournal.com]

Good grief, whatever this is in response to sounds unbelieveably ugly.

Sounds as if somebody needs a length of high-pressure tubing applied to the side of his head, or maybe a bit of surgery with the little hooked knife.

[flewellyn.livejournal.com]

OY gevalt.

I hadn't heard about this, but when I heard it was from theferrett, I headdesked. And groaned.

Then I read. And realized it was worse than I had imagined.

This comment (http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1087686.html?thread=54853830#t54853830) on his post says it all, I think.

[la-directora.livejournal.com]

Oh, my god, that comment is perfection. I keep trying to get words out about how this whole thing comes across to me. And that comment right there summed it up perfectly. Before reading it, I hadn't even given much thought yet to the fact that the button that announces whether or not you are okay with being touched (hello, brilliant observation that the DEFAULT should be NO with NO BUTTONS) is worn ON THE BREASTS, ensuring lots of extra ogling and looking in that direction.

Headdesk indeed.

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for anyone involved at the actual con - I think oursin's post (http://oursin.livejournal.com/839272.html) about it being one of those things that evolved spontaneously and shouldn't be repeated is probably dead on the money - but the idea of expanding it to life in general is a terrible one.

As far as the 'stigmatise the prudes with an opt-out badge' idea goes, I have to keep removing myself from the keyboard to stop making offensive comparisons.

Imbeciles and other considerations...

[panzerschrek.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh...

It boils down to a self-indulgent shmuck wheezing on that mean ol' reality isn't willing to support his efforts at "socializing" womens' breasts, so that the "needs" of the many can be satiated. Likewise, this idiot obviously has not thought of the immediate down-side impact, let alone the potential dage to the convention community that this imbecilic brain-fart would have. Hobbies and activities survive because they draw in new members as old members quit/wear out/die/whatever. Stupidity like this does no good to the activity. Likewise, conventions rely on the good-will of the hotel industry. This foolishness, run out to its logical extension, kill said good-will deader than Ike Clanton.

As for the rest, if we needs be technical, trying to grab someone is assault. Succeeding is battery. "Copping a healing feel" is likely some variety of sexual assault / sexual battery / whatever bit of legalese that state has decided to call it.

This doesn't even get into the other fallout -- those things outside of "normal" consequences. I seem to recall at *least* one Arisia where the con was not the only large gathering in the hotel, with said reception coinciding with the con ball.

He's a dolt.

[shadowflyer.livejournal.com]

Also, if you even THINK about asking the twelve-year-old daughter, be prepared for me to CALL THE COPS.

No, that's the point where you call the morgue. Or the cleaning service, as there will be just enough left to pick up with a mop.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

If I'm the only one there, I probably don't have the skills or equipment to actually kill an adult male.

I do, however, have a cell phone.

Killing's an empty threat. Pressing charges? Is NOT.

[ghilledhu.livejournal.com]

You might find this amusing, or at least cathartic:

http://roseembolism.livejournal.com/119139.html?#cutid1

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Have you seen misia's Open Source Swift Kick to the Balls one, too?

[pocketpolina.livejournal.com]

So I read the thing on the Open Source Boob Project and all I can say is "What. The. Fuck?!" I mean seriously, you can dress it up all you want with your "breasts are beautiful" and "I'm celebrating women" bullshit but what at it comes down to is that is degrading, disgusting, and wrong. You shouldn't even ask that of any random person, call me old fashioned but that's fucking inappropriate. If I were there I would not carry a "yes" or "no" button I would carry a taser or maybe some mace.

[naivefreedom.livejournal.com]

wait...
i thought you had to wear a button if you DID want to let random strangers play with your boobs.
so the idea was you would wear a button if you DIDN't want people playing with your boobs?
that is even worse.
should i have to wear a button signifying that I don't want people to punch me in the head?