My body is NOT Open Source.

[rikibeth]

Just in case you weren't clear, here is a list of who, exactly, is allowed to touch my breasts:

1. My infant child, who I am feeding. Please note, I have one daughter, and she is TWELVE, so this category is null. Infants not my own will be handed back to Mom when they start groping, 'cause I got nothin' for 'em.

2. A medical professional screening me for cancer or other abnormalities, at an appointment I have made. PVC nurse outfits, while cute, do not give you access.

3. Someone measuring me for clothing. Bras, corsets, bodices, custom dresses, whatever. If it's important to get the fit right, fine.


4. Someone I'm currently involved with romantically/sexually, IF we are already engaged in kissing/cuddling/other behavior commonly called "making out." If we're just going about our everyday business, DON'T RANDOMLY GRAB. I kinda hate it.

If you're not covered by any category above?

DON'T EVEN ASK.

Got it?

Also, if you even THINK about asking the twelve-year-old daughter, be prepared for me to CALL THE COPS.

I absolutely refuse to wear any sort of button or signifier to remind people of this status.

MY DEFAULT IS NO.

Comments

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for anyone involved at the actual con - I think oursin's post (http://oursin.livejournal.com/839272.html) about it being one of those things that evolved spontaneously and shouldn't be repeated is probably dead on the money - but the idea of expanding it to life in general is a terrible one.

As far as the 'stigmatise the prudes with an opt-out badge' idea goes, I have to keep removing myself from the keyboard to stop making offensive comparisons.

Imbeciles and other considerations...

[panzerschrek.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh...

It boils down to a self-indulgent shmuck wheezing on that mean ol' reality isn't willing to support his efforts at "socializing" womens' breasts, so that the "needs" of the many can be satiated. Likewise, this idiot obviously has not thought of the immediate down-side impact, let alone the potential dage to the convention community that this imbecilic brain-fart would have. Hobbies and activities survive because they draw in new members as old members quit/wear out/die/whatever. Stupidity like this does no good to the activity. Likewise, conventions rely on the good-will of the hotel industry. This foolishness, run out to its logical extension, kill said good-will deader than Ike Clanton.

As for the rest, if we needs be technical, trying to grab someone is assault. Succeeding is battery. "Copping a healing feel" is likely some variety of sexual assault / sexual battery / whatever bit of legalese that state has decided to call it.

This doesn't even get into the other fallout -- those things outside of "normal" consequences. I seem to recall at *least* one Arisia where the con was not the only large gathering in the hotel, with said reception coinciding with the con ball.

He's a dolt.

Re: Imbeciles and other considerations...

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I seem to recall at *least* one Arisia where the con was not the only large gathering in the hotel, with said reception coinciding with the con ball.

Uh-huh. That wedding reception. Where many of the guests had the middle name "The" and were most likely packing heat?

Re: Imbeciles and other considerations...

[panzerschrek.livejournal.com]

That would be the one... the one where I, by dint of chosen garb (a tuxedo)and assumed reasonable nature, was drafted to stand at the entry to the reception area and wave off the weirdness.

Put this scenario into Arisia -- a con in a large metropolitan hotel -- some leggy blonde in a little red dress gets mistaken for a "Six" as she walks through the lobby and one of these idiots decides they just gotta grope them some of that and the other shoe drops. At that point, it doesn't matter if she's Mickey the Squirrel's mistress, the girl friend of a Patriots middle linebacker or simply a woman who is unwilling to "get with the program" b/c the Ferret (or one of his fellow shmucks) thinks that breasts should be public property.

Re: Imbeciles and other considerations...

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

To be bending-over-BACKWARD fair, the theory is that they'd only ASK to grope women who were wearing "yes, you may" buttons. The "yes, you may" meaning "you may ask."

But unless someone was wearing a fucking red DON'T ASK ME button, they, at the very least, were potentially subject to a skeevy approach of "Have you heard of our Open Source Boobies Project? Would you like a button?" To which the leggy blonde would be well justified in answering, "Get away from me, you creeps, before I call the cops." And if someone with a shorter temper than a cop happened to be nearby?

Oy.

Re: Imbeciles and other considerations...

[panzerschrek.livejournal.com]

Maybe, but all that really accomplishes is put about another 1/4" of fuse in front of the explosion that is Mickey the Squirrel.

On the other hand, just to flip the script, what happens if said leggy blonde *IS* a cop?

This OSBP conceptually rests on such a collection of assumptions and stupidities that it makes my head hurt... All it takes is one idiot who grabs faster than someone else listens, one hard of hearing sleeze-boy, one deaf female, one under-aged female (regardless of her willingness) or whatever nightmare scenario you'd care to conjure up and it *ALL* goes to skittles. One bad incident can badly damage, if not kill, a convention. On bad incident can get one arrested, booked, charged and convicted.

I've known trustafarians with less self-entitlement... and if the Ferret is "a feminist," I'm Gloria Steinem.

Re: Imbeciles and other considerations...

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

If anyone asks Miss Twelve Going On Seventeen in my presence if she wants a button, I WILL call the cops, even at the cost of shutting down Arisia entirely.

Re: Imbeciles and other considerations...

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen anyone raise the good-will angle elsewhere, but you're totally right. I haven't had anything to do with SF cons, but I have run weekend LARPs and been involved with music festivals, and when people are already predisposed to give you funny looks about your subculture, sure, you correct misapprehensions, but you are as polite and socially ept as you can possibly manage about it unless you want to ruin things for everybody.

I still don't known how lacking in human empathy you have to be not to get that for many women, being approached by strangers wanting to feel their breasts would cause their thoughts to jump to 'Oh, my God, what if one of these guys is waiting for me in the parking lot with a tire iron?' whether they said yes (asking for it) or no (provoking the possibly mentally unstable person).

For that matter, you don't know who on either side of the equation has a tire iron, let alone outsiders in the case of that wedding you mentioned...

Re: Imbeciles and other considerations...

[panzerschrek.livejournal.com]

Precisely.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Icon love!

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was feeling irate last night and I had The GIMP open anyway because I was re-sizing some photos of the cats. :)