Oprah does not understand my life

[rikibeth]

eternaleponine has been on the phone ever since I got home from work, over three hours ago. This is probably the only reason why I clicked on a link about 6 shoes every woman should own.

For those of you who don't feel like clicking through, the shoes in question are the Little Black Pump (they show PATENT, and suggest 2" kitten heels), the Comfortable Flat, the Evening Shoe, the Sleek Comfort Sneaker, the Tall Boot, and the All-Weather Boot. Apparently you also need gym sneakers, but these don't COUNT or something, because you're not supposed to wear them outside the gym, never mind that they still cost money and you have to BUY them.

Okay. I do own a pair of black pumps. I bought them around 1994 when I worked in an office. I cannot remember the last time I wore the things.

Comfortable flats? They show a pair of red ballet flats and say that they can take you from office to evening. One, I don't work in an office, and, two, if I did, do you SERIOUSLY think ONE pair in ONE color would work with every damn thing I owned? Okay, since I pretty much wear all black, I probably could just have red flats and they'd go, but HONESTLY, people. If you are the sort to wear colorful ballet flats, you need more than one color.

The Evening Shoe. Actually, I have a pair of black satin high heeled evening sandals, and I do wear them when I need an unmistakably feminine shoe that isn't a boot. There is no way in HELL I'd ever wear those bronze sequined open-toed monstrosities they show on the page. EVER.

The Sleek Comfort Sneaker -- they show some ghastly orange leather hipster quasi-Adidas thing. UGH.

The Tall Boot -- yes, I'm a fan of boots. We will go into this more when I start taking about MY shoes.

The All-Weather Boot -- um, sure, but not those green wellies, thanks.

Here's MY essential shoes:

The Black Pump The Black 8- or 10-eye Doc Marten Boot. Wear 'em every day to work. Good ankle support, non-slip sole, good arch support when I add my orthotics. Also basic enough to go with most other things I like to wear, if I clean them up.

The Comfortable Flat The Slip-On Vans. For any time I want something light and comfortable. Mostly I wear black ones with a skull print, but I also have pink and black checks. I admit they're not very stylish with skirts, so that niche is filled by the TUK Kittycat Mary Janes.

The Evening Shoe Apart from the aforementioned satin sandals, this role is probably filled most often by either the Dainty Vintage Granny Boots (ankle boot) or the Pennangalan Fetish Boots (knee-high, patent leather, eight buckles with shiny metal plates and a 4" heel with 2" platform). These work MUCH better with MY Fancy Going-Out Clothes than any sort of sequined open-toed thing with a BOW on the instep, fercrissakes.

The Sleek Comfort Sneaker The Converse All-Star, Dammit. My favorite pair is purple. I also have a red pair and a black pair. I wouldn't mind having a few more colors, because they're cute, but purple really takes care of most of my needs. I've determined that they look very nice with pencil skirts.

The Tall Boot The 20-eye Doc Marten. Oh hell yes. Lace over skinny jeans, wear with pencil skirts, wear with dresses that have crinolines under them, wear with cargo shorts -- these are my favorite tall boots, no question about it! I have some more conventional riding-style boots around, with and without heels, but I can't think of the last time I wore them. 20-eye Docs RULE.

The All-Weather Boot Enough Wonder Balsam, and the Docs are FINE. I actually really like tall Docs plus skirts and tights for snow, because then I don't have wet trouser cuffs. Snow SHOVELING is the work pair plus fleece pants that I can change out of when I get inside.

I notice a lack of Summer Sandals in the essentials list. I'm still working on finding a pair I really like, because my tan Birkenstock Arizonas, while very comfy, are butt-ugly, and the cheap gold flip-flops I picked up aren't really the thing. But it would help to have a pair of light, comfortable sandals that looked nice with skirts.

I have more shoes than this. The ones I wear most often besides these are ALSO boots. Right now I need a pair of ASS-KICKING boots to use on the pizza delivery, because it's been an hour and a half. I called and they ARE going to give it to us free, but I'd like it to GET here, thanks.

I don't really live a ballet-flats kind of life.

Comments

[txanne.livejournal.com]

KITTEN HEELS? FFS. I've hated kitten heels my whole life. OTOH, I have multiple pairs of Mary Janes, having imprinted on tap shoes at a very early age, so I suppose I have no room to talk. (Except for the part where my MJs are 100% distilled awesome, I mean.)

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I like Louis heels better than kitten heels. My beloved granny boots have something like a 1" Louis heel. They are very very Victorian and dainty and I love them. They are the ones that get taken to the cobbler when they need work, instead of getting discarded.

[gentlyepigrams]

Like all fashion articles, it's designed for Yankee living. Today it was 80 outside. It will intermittently be 80 outside all winter. Winter boots aren't something we need down here.

Now those sandals you were talking about? Those I might be wearing not just today, but intermittently all winter long.

[madpiratebippy.livejournal.com]

Amen from Austin.

[florahart]

My essential shoe list:

Gym shoes (new): for going to the gym.
Gym shoes (previous pair): for wearing most of the time.
Gym shoes (the ones before that): for mud situations.
Flip-flops: for when 1. very hot; 2. too lazy to put on socks; 3. middle of night going to get something from car and not interested in barefoot slug-squashing.
Slippers.
One pair of some sort of flat, probably sandal, for when required to look marginally formal.

The end.

:D

*uses only icon which has any relationship at all to footwear*

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

HOW DO YOU LIVE WITHOUT STOMPY BOOTS?

I can admire the simplicity, though.

[naamah-darling.livejournal.com]

I have three pairs of shoes. Three.

Buffalo-hide sandals from Native Earth.

Sneakers.

Pirate boots.

None of those have high heels.

That list is completely foreign to me.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Pirate boots FTW!

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

My shoe wardrobe consists of:

+ two pairs of chunky Børn oxfords suitable for teaching

+ one pair of Doc Martens boots

+ one pair of tan Birkenstock Arizonas (these get the most wear, because I loooooove them)

+ one pair of black Birkenstock Boston clogs

+ one pair of black flats for choir concerts in which I have solos and thus my feet might be visible at some point because I will be in the front

So basically, Stereotypically Lesbian Footwear. Oh, and I do have a pair of Victorian lace-up boots I bought when I was in HMS Pinafore, but I almost never wear them, except to MLA interviews where looking tall feels like a Good Thing. They are the only ones with heels.

[kebbykate.livejournal.com]

I bet you and I wear the same Born shoes! (see below) Don't you LOVE them?

...too many shoes...

[egwenna.livejournal.com]

LOL -- I'm with florahart, I have three generations of gym shoes and I use them for exactly the same reasons. :-)

I also have a pair of brown, almost knee-high biker boats that I now only wear on rare occasions, and a pair of dark, heavily battered low boots that are easy to wear with jeans. Plus the boots that were bought for me that I only wear when there is serious snow, and the hiking boots we bought on our way to the Everglades when we realized we were going to be standing in mud a whole weekend to see Phish.

And from all the times I've been required to really dress up, I have several pairs of cute little heels that inevitably ate my feet and have only been worn once or twice. :-p

I have my hiking sandals that went to the galapagos and the trail shoes that went on the same trip, and then I've at least three pairs of basic brown summer sandals, though my favorites are in need of repair.

Thinking about it, for a woman who normaly only wears the gym sneakers and the battered boots, I have way too many shoes.

Shoes

[kebbykate.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm...that article was almost certainly written solely to market some shoes.

I have three pairs of a low-healed comfortable pump, one each in black, brown, and navy. I anticipate wearing them much more in my new job. I have a cute pair of brown flats from Hanna Andersson that tend to pinch my toes.

My favorite October-to-May shoes are a big black clunky pair of Born shoes that are three or four years old now. I also have a red pair of the Lands' End version of Merrills that I like okay but don't wear nearly as much.

I have two pairs of sneakers that I wear occasionally, finding the above-mentioned Bjorns more comfortable. I pull them on when I'm actually going to need athletic cushioning.

I have red Keen sandals that take over for the Bjorns for May-to-September wear. I have a red pair of Clarke's sandals I wear casually in the summer--they look kind of like Tevas, but faded red suede. I have a tan pair of Clarke's sandals for summer that I wear to work that are a little dressier.

I do own a pair of light green rubber boots that I need because the final third of our yard is squishy much of the year, plus living primitively in the Maine woods one week each summer.

I do have a lovely strappy pair of red sandals that I bought for my sister's wedding and wear about once a year.

I slop around the house in a pair of green Lands' End fleece slippers I bought shortly before M was born.

I have a pair of pull-on insulated duck-type boots that I use for snow shoveling.

Did you spot the red trend?

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Ballet flats constitute 50% of my shoe wardrobe. In the sense that I own two pairs of shoes and they are one of them.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Are they comfortable ballet flats? Does that work for you?

I get being broke -- there were certainly times when I went for several years without buying shoes -- but I can't imagine only HAVING two pairs of shoes, mostly because my feet stopped growing when I was twelve and I'm a packrat. The little black patent tuxedo flats I wore to my bat mitzvah? I kept and wore them regularly until I was well into my twenties. Possibly even until I was 30!

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

Word to the Vans. So useful.

And I too am in search of the Summer Sandals. Teva used to make an ultra-strappy boating sandal that I wore into the ground (or river), but they apparently do not any more. I've seen some hemp rainbow sandals that nearly fit the bill and are obnoxiously Pride-oriented for those who need reminding.

Ballet flats are for people without lower back problems.

Man I need to get a pair of Converse.

(Love this post!)

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

For all that I never wear pumps or ballet flats, I'm too much of a femme for Tevas and their ilk. Yes, in my head, 20-eye Docs are femme shoes, and if you saw them with a '50's cocktail dress held out by a red crinoline, or a pencil skirt and thigh-highs, you'd say so too!

I need sandals that look pretty and lacy while still giving me some arch support.

Converse are great, but with lower back issues, add orthotics. I do.

Seriously, who WEARS the stuff in the Oprah post? NOT MY SHOES.

[kitwench.livejournal.com]

Oh hell yeah !
Sneakers - two pair, alternate daily (time to air out).
That's what I wear 80% of the time.
Boots - Timberlands, for camp and all outdoor stuff.
I do a LOT of that.
Rainboots with skulls from Target - also for camp (it rains a LOT, and we're parked downhill from the lake...)
2 pr cute and comfy sandals that I pick up on sale at Payless at the end of the season, one pr black, one pr brown.
These are my 'dress up' shoes 9 months out of 12.
Black 3" heeled Converse sneakers- that's for the other 3 months- and you can RUN in them, OMG, yes really.

I don't wear skirts or dresses, ever - so Oprah probably doesn't even think I'm female.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

See, since I live in chef pants and black T-shirts or thermal shirts, I enjoy femme-ing it up when I'm off duty and going somewhere other than the grocery store -- BUT I STILL DO IT IN BOOTS.

So much love for the high heel sneakers!

[nmsunbear.livejournal.com]

Wow, the shoes they picked are all SO UGLY!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

OH GOOD IT'S NOT JUST ME.

Well, the tall boots are OK, as those things go.

about to enter a tunnel, so I'll make this brief...

[maeveenroute.livejournal.com]

I'm currently wearing teal ballet flats with little bows (and arch-supporting inserts) ... and that list is *still* full of crap.

[c1.livejournal.com]

6 pairs of shoes this dude needs...
1. A pair of light hikers. They go from the classroom to the gym; the workshop to the mountain.
2. A pair of Daytona Roadstar GTX motorcycle boots. From nose to toes, I'm covered when I ride.
3. A pair of black Reeboks, because I really should wear something more subdued when I'm teaching.
4. A pair of Sorel boots, because sometimes I need a waterproof boot that's rated to -45° F.
5. A pair of Teva sandals, because they're what you wear when tromping around the jungle.
6. A pair of LaSportiva Mythos rock shoes. Size 42. They edge, they do well on slab; they're just a good all around rock shoe.

Somewhere in there, I have the usual pair of black lace-ups for more formal occasions, but normally, I wear the Reeboks these days. I've also got a pair of running shoes, but at the gym, I'm wearing my hikers. Meh.

A man's view

[bigbrotherinlaw.livejournal.com]

I realized recently that I have a lot more footwear than I would think is necessary

#1 with a bullet: Unstructured Un.ravel black leather oxford. These have been my every day shoes for most of the last 18 months since I bought them. I have two other pairs of dress leather shoes (a pair each in black and brown) purchased about the same time, but they are junk by comparison.

2: a pair of cheap leather sandals from BJ's. very comfortable, but not all that durable. I'd never worn sandals before I bought these.

3: a pair of "trail" running shoes that were once my everyday wear, but now are relegated to yard work.

4: a pair of Merrell lightweight hikers. default wear for snowy days when I don't want to have to change

5: an awesome pair of rubber boots that zip up. ugly, but tres functional.

6: a pair of real snow boots (Sorel Caribou). For serious snow.

7: a pair of L.L.Bean slip-on clogs for those times when shoes are required around the house or on a quick errand. Functionally I use them as slippers.

After ten plus years of wearing running shoes every day, I don't have a good pair currently. I'm going to have to break down and shop for a pair soon though. Water shoes aren't on this list either, but they are specialized.

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

Two-inch heels are not kitten heels in my book. They count as high heels, and are too high for the likes of me except on rare occasions.

[lovecraftienne.livejournal.com]

LOL, we have very similar shoe tastes - I have those same TUF kitty MJs, in addition to my Doc Marten's MJs (pictured here). :D

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

I own two pairs of Crocs (I had three pairs, but one of them got left near a portable heater and shrank) which I wear in summer, two pairs of Rocket Dog ballet flats (I don't know how Rocket Dogs are comfortable and supportive when there's nothing in there to be comfortable and supportive, but my bad ankle really likes them) which I wear in spring and autumn and when called upon to be formal, and a pair of red ankle boots I wear in winter. And some fake-fur-lined boot slippers that I probably wear more than all the rest put together.

As far as I'm concerned, people who want me to privilege their dislike of silly plastic shoes over the comfort of my bad ankle can... just not look at my feet. :)

[cbpotts.livejournal.com]

I do not wear shoes, over 90% of the time. What is the point of working from home if I have to wear shoes?

When I must, I prefer clogs, and eschew socks. Generally I buy a black pair of clogs, wear them for a year, and replace them when hubby starts bitching.

I have proper boots for those times I must run a chain saw or do other potentially dangerous things. I have an insane boot collection of bejeweled, besparkled, bechained, beauties that I wear for occassions that require miniskirts and attitudes; generally I wind up wearing one pair annually. That's worked for a decade or so.

[tamidon.livejournal.com]

I get a pair of these at the beginning of the summer and wear them to death. I've been wearing them for 20 years, they're really comfortable, and they're more like real shoes than rubber flip flops

[fidelioscabinet.livejournal.com]

These lists are supposed to make you take a panicked look at your shoes and then go shopping. It's why they have no sandals--if the list was published in the late spring, they'd have sandals instead of boots. It's also why the shoes are so fugly--they use the most "interesting"* of the current new shoes.


*For values of "interesting" that only make sense to a fashion editor.

[keori.livejournal.com]

I confess, since getting out of the Navy, where I wore the same clothes and steel-toed boots all day, I've become something of a shoe fetishist.

Black heels: range from 3" suede Cuban-heeled Mary Janes to 1 1/2" black leather Mary Janes to 2" black leather basic pumps to a fantastic pair of black Oxford booties.

Flats are my black Dr. Marten Mary Janes (sense a theme yet?).

"Evening shoe?" Fuck that; if my $20 brown leather Gladiator sandals aren't dressy enough, you're going without me.

Comfort sneaker? Converse all star in Navy blue. Fuck that bright orange hipster shit.

Boots - Doc Marten 20 eyes, just like rikibeth.

Beloved did recently find a gorgeous pair of Victorian heeled boots with a chunky enough heel so she would wear them. VERY steampunk. I've been looking for them again so I can buy them for her.

[fairylogic.livejournal.com]

Doc Martens for me as well. I just got a new pair of "vintage" 1460's that will be my everyday shoes once they get broken in. My last pair finally died after 10+ years, so I'm rediscovering that fun. My tall Docs are also my go-to dressing up shoes. They have a stacked wood heel that makes them a little dressier and look really cute when laced with ribbons.

I have a lot of shoes though, including a pair of Dansko's for work, running and hiking shoes, several pairs of china flats, and pair of patent peep-toe spectator heels that are pure pin-up sexy.

No ballet flats here either. :)

[auspeople.livejournal.com]

Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?

I HATE shoes, actually, which makes me not a girl. My daughter, on the other hand, LOVES shoes and going shoe shopping with her is a unique kind of hell.

Anyway, I really need to try Docs because I actually never have and if they are comfortable, I think I'd be all over them. I do have a pair of black boots I found at DSW that are waaaay comfy and do the job at concerts. Other shoes in my must have collection: Keen sandals, good running shoes, and brown pumps that aren't just plain (I found a cute pair at another DSW that goes with all the brown I seem to wear when I have to look grown up). Oh, and I have this pair of whaddya call em black sandals I got at REI that I can dress up or down and I love that.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Show me the REI black sandals?

[cad-red-ducati.livejournal.com]

ok, fucking stupid consumtist notions of femininty just piss me off! Oprah can choke on my two pairs of crocs and my one pair of clogs. stupid shill!

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

There is NOT A SINGLE PAIR of those shoes that I'd be caught dead in! Even the black pumps are too dressy for the office and too high in the heel for comfort as a dress shoe.

I wear a lot of flats, but I specifically avoid "ballet flats" in favor of flat-heeled pumps. And red is just not a useful color for me at all.

I do not wear fuck-mes under any circumstances. My evening shoes tend toward slightly dressier versions of my everyday pumps, or to full-on platforms with a lot less heel-rise.

ORANGE SNEAKERS?? Gah, those are fugly! Although I might be tempted by a similar style in a reasonable color, if it didn't have that back-of-the-heel bump that irritates the hell out of my Achilles tendons.

Tall boots I just can't wear any more; they don't make them with a shaft size large enough to fit my calves (at least not at a price I can afford to pay). And in any case, they should not be ACID LIME.

Snow boots should also be a neutral shade -- black, grey, or brown depending on the primary colors of your wardrobe -- if you live in a climate where you're likely to need them, because you'll be wearing them a lot. I still have a pair hanging around even though it rarely snows here, because we travel so much; however, mine were acquired at Goodwill.

And yes, what's with the "you should have gym shoes, and you have to pay for them, but we're not going to acknowledge them" thing?

My "must have" list runs more like this:
- Plain black pumps, with no more than 1.5" heels -- and not those damn stilettos, either! They dress nicely up or down to any level I'm likely to need.

- Black sandals, also low-heeled and not stilettos. A dressier choice for warmer weather, that I can wear without hose.

- Surfer flops. These are my everyday go-to shoes, and I have a stack of them in reserve in a box under the bed for when the current pair wears out.

- Black loafers. Nice when I want something more casual than the pumps, or when open toes are impractical.

- Black joggers. I used to wear the Reebok "Princess" style, but my last purchase of those was unsatisfactory (they give me an odd pain near the base of the toes when I'm standing for any length of time), so now it's whatever I can find at PayLess that's suitable; the current pair has some tasteful decoration in a silver-curly pattern.

Beyond that, I branch out in all directions, but those are the basics.