Oprah does not understand my life

[rikibeth]

eternaleponine has been on the phone ever since I got home from work, over three hours ago. This is probably the only reason why I clicked on a link about 6 shoes every woman should own.

For those of you who don't feel like clicking through, the shoes in question are the Little Black Pump (they show PATENT, and suggest 2" kitten heels), the Comfortable Flat, the Evening Shoe, the Sleek Comfort Sneaker, the Tall Boot, and the All-Weather Boot. Apparently you also need gym sneakers, but these don't COUNT or something, because you're not supposed to wear them outside the gym, never mind that they still cost money and you have to BUY them.

Okay. I do own a pair of black pumps. I bought them around 1994 when I worked in an office. I cannot remember the last time I wore the things.

Comfortable flats? They show a pair of red ballet flats and say that they can take you from office to evening. One, I don't work in an office, and, two, if I did, do you SERIOUSLY think ONE pair in ONE color would work with every damn thing I owned? Okay, since I pretty much wear all black, I probably could just have red flats and they'd go, but HONESTLY, people. If you are the sort to wear colorful ballet flats, you need more than one color.

The Evening Shoe. Actually, I have a pair of black satin high heeled evening sandals, and I do wear them when I need an unmistakably feminine shoe that isn't a boot. There is no way in HELL I'd ever wear those bronze sequined open-toed monstrosities they show on the page. EVER.

The Sleek Comfort Sneaker -- they show some ghastly orange leather hipster quasi-Adidas thing. UGH.

The Tall Boot -- yes, I'm a fan of boots. We will go into this more when I start taking about MY shoes.

The All-Weather Boot -- um, sure, but not those green wellies, thanks.

Here's MY essential shoes:

The Black Pump The Black 8- or 10-eye Doc Marten Boot. Wear 'em every day to work. Good ankle support, non-slip sole, good arch support when I add my orthotics. Also basic enough to go with most other things I like to wear, if I clean them up.

The Comfortable Flat The Slip-On Vans. For any time I want something light and comfortable. Mostly I wear black ones with a skull print, but I also have pink and black checks. I admit they're not very stylish with skirts, so that niche is filled by the TUK Kittycat Mary Janes.

The Evening Shoe Apart from the aforementioned satin sandals, this role is probably filled most often by either the Dainty Vintage Granny Boots (ankle boot) or the Pennangalan Fetish Boots (knee-high, patent leather, eight buckles with shiny metal plates and a 4" heel with 2" platform). These work MUCH better with MY Fancy Going-Out Clothes than any sort of sequined open-toed thing with a BOW on the instep, fercrissakes.

The Sleek Comfort Sneaker The Converse All-Star, Dammit. My favorite pair is purple. I also have a red pair and a black pair. I wouldn't mind having a few more colors, because they're cute, but purple really takes care of most of my needs. I've determined that they look very nice with pencil skirts.

The Tall Boot The 20-eye Doc Marten. Oh hell yes. Lace over skinny jeans, wear with pencil skirts, wear with dresses that have crinolines under them, wear with cargo shorts -- these are my favorite tall boots, no question about it! I have some more conventional riding-style boots around, with and without heels, but I can't think of the last time I wore them. 20-eye Docs RULE.

The All-Weather Boot Enough Wonder Balsam, and the Docs are FINE. I actually really like tall Docs plus skirts and tights for snow, because then I don't have wet trouser cuffs. Snow SHOVELING is the work pair plus fleece pants that I can change out of when I get inside.

I notice a lack of Summer Sandals in the essentials list. I'm still working on finding a pair I really like, because my tan Birkenstock Arizonas, while very comfy, are butt-ugly, and the cheap gold flip-flops I picked up aren't really the thing. But it would help to have a pair of light, comfortable sandals that looked nice with skirts.

I have more shoes than this. The ones I wear most often besides these are ALSO boots. Right now I need a pair of ASS-KICKING boots to use on the pizza delivery, because it's been an hour and a half. I called and they ARE going to give it to us free, but I'd like it to GET here, thanks.

I don't really live a ballet-flats kind of life.

Comments

[txanne.livejournal.com]

KITTEN HEELS? FFS. I've hated kitten heels my whole life. OTOH, I have multiple pairs of Mary Janes, having imprinted on tap shoes at a very early age, so I suppose I have no room to talk. (Except for the part where my MJs are 100% distilled awesome, I mean.)

[gentlyepigrams]

Like all fashion articles, it's designed for Yankee living. Today it was 80 outside. It will intermittently be 80 outside all winter. Winter boots aren't something we need down here.

Now those sandals you were talking about? Those I might be wearing not just today, but intermittently all winter long.

[florahart]

My essential shoe list:

Gym shoes (new): for going to the gym.
Gym shoes (previous pair): for wearing most of the time.
Gym shoes (the ones before that): for mud situations.
Flip-flops: for when 1. very hot; 2. too lazy to put on socks; 3. middle of night going to get something from car and not interested in barefoot slug-squashing.
Slippers.
One pair of some sort of flat, probably sandal, for when required to look marginally formal.

The end.

:D

*uses only icon which has any relationship at all to footwear*

[naamah-darling.livejournal.com]

I have three pairs of shoes. Three.

Buffalo-hide sandals from Native Earth.

Sneakers.

Pirate boots.

None of those have high heels.

That list is completely foreign to me.

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

My shoe wardrobe consists of:

+ two pairs of chunky Børn oxfords suitable for teaching

+ one pair of Doc Martens boots

+ one pair of tan Birkenstock Arizonas (these get the most wear, because I loooooove them)

+ one pair of black Birkenstock Boston clogs

+ one pair of black flats for choir concerts in which I have solos and thus my feet might be visible at some point because I will be in the front

So basically, Stereotypically Lesbian Footwear. Oh, and I do have a pair of Victorian lace-up boots I bought when I was in HMS Pinafore, but I almost never wear them, except to MLA interviews where looking tall feels like a Good Thing. They are the only ones with heels.

...too many shoes...

[egwenna.livejournal.com]

LOL -- I'm with florahart, I have three generations of gym shoes and I use them for exactly the same reasons. :-)

I also have a pair of brown, almost knee-high biker boats that I now only wear on rare occasions, and a pair of dark, heavily battered low boots that are easy to wear with jeans. Plus the boots that were bought for me that I only wear when there is serious snow, and the hiking boots we bought on our way to the Everglades when we realized we were going to be standing in mud a whole weekend to see Phish.

And from all the times I've been required to really dress up, I have several pairs of cute little heels that inevitably ate my feet and have only been worn once or twice. :-p

I have my hiking sandals that went to the galapagos and the trail shoes that went on the same trip, and then I've at least three pairs of basic brown summer sandals, though my favorites are in need of repair.

Thinking about it, for a woman who normaly only wears the gym sneakers and the battered boots, I have way too many shoes.

Shoes

[kebbykate.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm...that article was almost certainly written solely to market some shoes.

I have three pairs of a low-healed comfortable pump, one each in black, brown, and navy. I anticipate wearing them much more in my new job. I have a cute pair of brown flats from Hanna Andersson that tend to pinch my toes.

My favorite October-to-May shoes are a big black clunky pair of Born shoes that are three or four years old now. I also have a red pair of the Lands' End version of Merrills that I like okay but don't wear nearly as much.

I have two pairs of sneakers that I wear occasionally, finding the above-mentioned Bjorns more comfortable. I pull them on when I'm actually going to need athletic cushioning.

I have red Keen sandals that take over for the Bjorns for May-to-September wear. I have a red pair of Clarke's sandals I wear casually in the summer--they look kind of like Tevas, but faded red suede. I have a tan pair of Clarke's sandals for summer that I wear to work that are a little dressier.

I do own a pair of light green rubber boots that I need because the final third of our yard is squishy much of the year, plus living primitively in the Maine woods one week each summer.

I do have a lovely strappy pair of red sandals that I bought for my sister's wedding and wear about once a year.

I slop around the house in a pair of green Lands' End fleece slippers I bought shortly before M was born.

I have a pair of pull-on insulated duck-type boots that I use for snow shoveling.

Did you spot the red trend?

[kebbykate.livejournal.com]

I bet you and I wear the same Born shoes! (see below) Don't you LOVE them?

[angevin2.livejournal.com]

These are the ones I have, and they are the BEST SHOES EVER. I didn't have to break them in, but they've held up really well, and my feet aren't unbearably sore after a long day of teaching.

[atdelphi.livejournal.com]

Ballet flats constitute 50% of my shoe wardrobe. In the sense that I own two pairs of shoes and they are one of them.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

You'd expect me to have chef's clogs, but I tried them, and I can't do it. They feel like they're going to fall off my feet. I'm all about the boots.

I have a lot of other shoes even after I got rid of a bunch. The cute tweed heels I bought on impulse when I was trying to make an outfit where I could pass for a grown-up. The red patent heeled Mary Janes and the reverse spectator heels that mhaille thought I'd like when she was cleaning her closet -- and I did wear them with jeans a few times this summer. They are okay for short distance walking. For NYC conditions, they require taxicabs, and so aren't really practical (but I was being spoiled). Flat and heeled pirate boots. The RevWar costume shoes. A pair of China flats. Several pairs of vintage stilettos from my late grandmother's closet.

I dunno, they just kinda accumulate.

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

Word to the Vans. So useful.

And I too am in search of the Summer Sandals. Teva used to make an ultra-strappy boating sandal that I wore into the ground (or river), but they apparently do not any more. I've seen some hemp rainbow sandals that nearly fit the bill and are obnoxiously Pride-oriented for those who need reminding.

Ballet flats are for people without lower back problems.

Man I need to get a pair of Converse.

(Love this post!)

[kitwench.livejournal.com]

Oh hell yeah !
Sneakers - two pair, alternate daily (time to air out).
That's what I wear 80% of the time.
Boots - Timberlands, for camp and all outdoor stuff.
I do a LOT of that.
Rainboots with skulls from Target - also for camp (it rains a LOT, and we're parked downhill from the lake...)
2 pr cute and comfy sandals that I pick up on sale at Payless at the end of the season, one pr black, one pr brown.
These are my 'dress up' shoes 9 months out of 12.
Black 3" heeled Converse sneakers- that's for the other 3 months- and you can RUN in them, OMG, yes really.

I don't wear skirts or dresses, ever - so Oprah probably doesn't even think I'm female.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

For all that I never wear pumps or ballet flats, I'm too much of a femme for Tevas and their ilk. Yes, in my head, 20-eye Docs are femme shoes, and if you saw them with a '50's cocktail dress held out by a red crinoline, or a pencil skirt and thigh-highs, you'd say so too!

I need sandals that look pretty and lacy while still giving me some arch support.

Converse are great, but with lower back issues, add orthotics. I do.

Seriously, who WEARS the stuff in the Oprah post? NOT MY SHOES.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I like Louis heels better than kitten heels. My beloved granny boots have something like a 1" Louis heel. They are very very Victorian and dainty and I love them. They are the ones that get taken to the cobbler when they need work, instead of getting discarded.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

HOW DO YOU LIVE WITHOUT STOMPY BOOTS?

I can admire the simplicity, though.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Pirate boots FTW!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

LOL! They look like Doc Marten oxfords, even to the yellow stitching!

I had a pair of Doc Marten oxfords, but I hardly wore them once I left the job I got them for, so I gave them to the kid. Just scored a similar pair off eBay for eternaleponine to wear to work.

Born or Doc Marten, they're good shoes.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

See, since I live in chef pants and black T-shirts or thermal shirts, I enjoy femme-ing it up when I'm off duty and going somewhere other than the grocery store -- BUT I STILL DO IT IN BOOTS.

So much love for the high heel sneakers!

[txanne.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, I adore Louis heels! It's the Baroque dancer in me. If I cosplayed I'd singlehandedly invent Baroquepunk.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Are they comfortable ballet flats? Does that work for you?

I get being broke -- there were certainly times when I went for several years without buying shoes -- but I can't imagine only HAVING two pairs of shoes, mostly because my feet stopped growing when I was twelve and I'm a packrat. The little black patent tuxedo flats I wore to my bat mitzvah? I kept and wore them regularly until I was well into my twenties. Possibly even until I was 30!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Baroquepunk, now, there's a thought... I wonder how my RevWar caraco would look with an industrial sort of skirt?

[txanne.livejournal.com]

It would look FANTASTIC, and I hope you'll send me a picture.

I have the Sable I think...

[kebbykate.livejournal.com]

Mine are almost the same, slip-ons, not lace-ups though.

http://www.zappos.com/images/743/7430294/8521-670216-d.jpg

[nmsunbear.livejournal.com]

Wow, the shoes they picked are all SO UGLY!