My body is NOT Open Source.

Just in case you weren't clear, here is a list of who, exactly, is allowed to touch my breasts:

1. My infant child, who I am feeding. Please note, I have one daughter, and she is TWELVE, so this category is null. Infants not my own will be handed back to Mom when they start groping, 'cause I got nothin' for 'em.

2. A medical professional screening me for cancer or other abnormalities, at an appointment I have made. PVC nurse outfits, while cute, do not give you access.

3. Someone measuring me for clothing. Bras, corsets, bodices, custom dresses, whatever. If it's important to get the fit right, fine.


4. Someone I'm currently involved with romantically/sexually, IF we are already engaged in kissing/cuddling/other behavior commonly called "making out." If we're just going about our everyday business, DON'T RANDOMLY GRAB. I kinda hate it.

If you're not covered by any category above?

DON'T EVEN ASK.

Got it?

Also, if you even THINK about asking the twelve-year-old daughter, be prepared for me to CALL THE COPS.

I absolutely refuse to wear any sort of button or signifier to remind people of this status.

MY DEFAULT IS NO.