Why I don't leave

[rikibeth]

1) shadowflyer has been out of work since April. We're in a pretty deep hole.

2) I've only been kitchen manager for a month. If I leave now, it'll look like I can't hack the increased responsibility.

3) I really don't WANT to be doing real sit-down restaurant work with plated desserts or line cook for single orders or whatever. I like the café-style business. I've got a handle on its rhythms. If only my boss would let me get my work done.

I actually yelled back at her today. Lost my shit at her. The General Assembly order was finished, I was putting together Special Salads (the ones with the goat cheese and candied walnuts) and she wanted to know what I was doing for the afternoon.

I said I hadn't figured it out, I was going to take a few minutes after I got the Special Salads made and get organized. She said "I need to know what you're doing. because I have things that need to get done, to make sure the special orfer cake for tomorrow isn't last-minute." That was when I lost it.

I told her, "Then quit asking me trick questions. If you want me to do specific things in a specific order, just TELL me, and I'll do them, but don't ask me to tell you what I'm doing so that you can tell me I'm wrong. Don't PLAY those sorts of games with me. I am tired of everything I do being wrong. If you want it done a certain way, JUST TELL ME."

And then a little later I took a couple of Happy Campers. I didn't crack the rum and dump it in my iced tea. Aren't you proud of me?

I think she took me seriously, because she wrote out what she wanted me to do on a piece of paper on my clipboard. She might have remembered that I've told her that I understand written instructions about an order of magnitude better than spoken ones. If I were a kid being tested now it might even fall under learning disability, except I think I did it to myself over the years -- too many years of tuning out the teacher during class while I snuck a book under my desk, and catching up by reading the textbook later.

Back when I had my own plan for the afternoon -- yesterday -- it involved making apple pies. She's bumped that to tomorrow. Bleah. I'm gonna be there forever. I hope she's RECONCILED to that.

So this afternoon I made the lemon curd for the cake -- a job which I had meant to give to Robert, as I hadn't made lemon curd since school, over a year ago, and I really didn't want to fuck it up, which I nearly managed --- didn't cook it long enough, and boss came back and put it back over the double boiler until it thickened, finally getting the clue that I had put it on Robert's list because I thought he'd do a BETTER JOB...

and I made the vanilla buttercream, and the sour cream coffee cakes, and toasted the almonds so Robert could make frangipane, and also knocked out some Caesar dressing so we can have chicken Caesar salads tomorrow.

I had a crying jag when I got home. I needed it. shadowflyer fixed me a large drink, and I probably ought not to try standing for any length of time, but I am a lot calmer now.

My new dollar-store bandana with the mean skulls on it failed to protect me. Well, maybe it didn't fail. She didn't fire me when I lost my shit at her. But I was hoping it would project don't-fuck-with-me, and it didn't, not enough, although Laura admired it, which I sort of expected. I still like it, but maybe I'll wear my lucky hat tomorrow instead, now that Charlotte's found it for me again.

Iced tea, limeade, and rum is very easy to drink quickly.

There is always alcohol.

Night, folks.

Comments

[adpaz.livejournal.com]

{{{{Riki}}}}} She needs to hurry up and realize what a kick-ass employee she has in you. Seriously.

Even if she doesn't see it, we do.

{{{{Riki}}}}}

[thisside.livejournal.com]

Those kinds of trick questions are just WRONG. In fact, they use those exact kinds of scenarios in some of the management guide/training stuff I see to show you what NOT to do. I'm glad you're standing up to her though. Maybe she'll get the point.

[hangingfire.livejournal.com]

Ooof.

Enjoy the alcohol. You've earned it.

[naamah-darling.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

Hope you feel more able to face things tomorrow!

::more hugs::

[lessthanpie]

As I was waiting for my boring sandwich earlier, I was actually thinking: if it wasn't all the way across the country, I would eat at rikibeth's place every day and tell her dumb boss to quit being dumb before she loses her excellent kitchen manager.

Tell me again about the frangipane? :p

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Frangipane. Right. Toasted almonds, ground fine in the food processor, butter, sugar, a little flour to give it body, eggs, and almond extract. It's the filling in almond croissants. And it's one of mankind's greatest inventions. I don't have the proportions handy, sorry, but Google is your friend.

One of our regular pesky customers ordered six almond bearclaws for Saturday morning, so we had to make frangipane.

It's really not difficult to make, not with a food processor.

I wish I were sober enough to make a poll as funny as one of yours about my job.

[lessthanpie]

*drools*

[ceilidh71.livejournal.com]

LOL! i think that same thing every time i go get lunch!

[cleverthylacine]

I don't know if this would work in your business, but because I do so much purchasing and patient care, I have made it a documentation issue that I need emailed instructions--or instructions written or typed on a large enough piece of paper not to get lost, not a post-it. I have the same problem; if I'm under any stress at all, I have about a 25-second memory for verbal orders.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Glad to know it's not just me. Sadly, my boss is an auditory processer -- when she was under (self-imposed) stress and needed to get a certain standing order out, and asked me what the items were, I was reacting to her stress enough that I couldn't string the words together and flipped open one of our notebooks to show her where it was written down, and she gave me the Glare Of Doom and said "Just TELL me." I didn't bother explaining that, at that moment, I COULDN'T.

*sigh*

[cleverthylacine]

Gah. Dylan could handle that. I can't.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Can Dylan come to work with me, please? And Imperio her into going downstairs and getting the hell out of my way?

I promise not to kiss him if he doesn't want me to.

[florahart]

Just for comparison, here is what I've been telling people my job looks like this week. I hate the start of school.

It goes like this: aaaaaaauuuuuugghhhh! run here! sign this! solve this problem! work 4573975784 hours tomorrow! be two places at once! answer two questions that can't wait while conducting a job interview! print this! unjam printer! sign this--no time to read it! call the personnel people again! run over there! give a tour! give a tour somewhere else! make timesheets! check paperwork! dance upside down while juggling knives and taming lions! file records! sign something else! answer the phone! resolve three unrelated schedule crises! OMG

Best I can tell, your job looks like that all the time, which would make me a lush in short order.

(pets*

[webbapettigrew.livejournal.com]

I hope things get better for you. You work so hard, and deserve better, my dear!

[eternaleponine.livejournal.com]

There is always alcohol.

Thank you, Rickey and G-man, for your words of wisdom. :)

::snuggles::

[gentlyepigrams]

I'm sorry it took your boss so long to get as much of a clue as she got when you yelled at her. I've had bosses where a salutory yelling helped. I hope that's the case with yours.

Meanwhile, enjoy your drink. You've earned it.

[shoeless-girl.livejournal.com]

Well, I can see why you don't leave, that sucks, but good on you for sticking with it.
And good on you for losing it at your boss. It doesn't sound like you were too horrid or anything, and she obviously took you seriously, so perhaps you should just do it more often :)
Nah, not really, but it would be fun to think about.

Enjoy your much deserved drink (or three)

[tikvah.livejournal.com]

It sucks that you can't leave, but you're a lot smarter and stronger than you usually give yourself credit for. You can do this.

Is there anything I can do to help shadowflyer find a new paying job?

[wyomingnot.livejournal.com]

*hugs and pets*

I'm rotten with consolation, admittedly. But hang in there.

Kudos to you on letting the boss have it. Sounds like you managed to make some good communication. Okay, so it wasn't a nice calm dispassionate talk... you made it clear what you need. Hell, going off might have helped it make a better impact.

:)

[ashbet]

STABBY STABBY STABBY STAB STAB

Overkill solves most situations fairly neatly, in my world. Then again, Lobo is one of my personal heroes, as is Ripley. Nevermind.

*sympathy, empathy, strength, and determination . . . and a hefty dose of LUCK*

-- A <3

[ap-aelfwine.livejournal.com]

Rotten boss. Evil trick questions; bosses should get clubbed for pulling shite like that. Sorry to hear she was such a cow.

If I were a kid being tested now it might even fall under learning disability, except I think I did it to myself over the years -- too many years of tuning out the teacher during class while I snuck a book under my desk, and catching up by reading the textbook later.

I know the feeling.

Hope you've had a better day today.