Dear Reproductive System:

[rikibeth]

By my calculations, Wanting To Eat Everything In The World should happen next week, not this one. Nor am I supposed to be feeling these funny twinges. However, since I find myself wanting to eat BOTH halves of a Subway footlong sandwich, and the funny twinges are, in fact, making themselves known, along with a certain soreness that makes me want to sleep in the shelf bra camis, I am getting very suspicious.

Could you at least hold off until after the weekend, please?