on a sillier note

[rikibeth]

I am seized with the desire to construct a vampire-hunting kit. I'm thinking it ought to go into a piece of vintage luggage.

The question is, would it be better to build it into a train case, or an overnight bag? Attache cases and Gladstone bags are also options, but unfortunately more expensive.

The gating factor here is whether it could accommodate the stakes.

So, how long does a proper vampire stake have to BE?

Feel free to elaborate on your answer, and to suggest other necessary components. I'm thinking this will have to be vampire-only, not combined vampire-werewolf as so many are, because the key werewolf equipment is a gun with silver bullets, and I am not jumping through the bureaucratic hoops necessary to get a working pistol, even a black-powder deal.

yes, I'm silly.

Comments

[thevirtualjim.livejournal.com]

a stake should be about the length of the hand plus the width of the hand.

That gives plenty of length to go into the body, and to hold it, but not so long as to go into the body and out the other end, which makes it harder to remove, if you need to use the stake on the next vampire coming after you.

Too long makes it unwieldy, and too short makes it too light and possibly not long enough to get into the heart itself.

BTW, I kind of like how in The Vampire Diaries, they picked up on the use of vervain against vampires.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

AWESOME, then they'll fit into a train case whose longest dimension is around 12"!

Not following Vampire Diaries -- I was counting on garlic and wild rose, both VERY easily obtained. Elaborate on vervain?

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

I really like the idea of it being in a train case.

You MUST take pictures of this project!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I am strongly considering making TWO. Train cases are so readily available!

[fidelioscabinet.livejournal.com]

Carpet bag.

agree that a stake over a fot in length is unnecessary, unless you're working for drama and want to pin the vampire to the ground like a ginormus big in a display case. Also, don't forget the hammer--a maul, rather than a claw hammer, is probably the best choice.

Whatever you use, you'll need secure storage for the holy water vials.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

A maul or small sledge is definitely what I was thinking for the hammer. They're easy to get.

And train cases often have darling little loops of elastic sewn to the lining, meant for securing bottles of perfume and unguents. This is why I thought of using a train case!

[tekalynn.livejournal.com]

Poppy seeds, or some other small grainy substance for strewing. Salt works quite well in many cultures.

[deguspice.livejournal.com]

Are you allowed to bring the vampire-hunting kit with you while you're going door-to-door as part of your job?

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I've heard mustard seeds, too. (And Mulder used sunflower seeds!) Either way, trip to Penzey's, and glass bottle in one of the bottle loops.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Well, I suppose if it were unmarked on the outside -- we're not supposed to wear things with religious messages on them.

However, we're also not supposed to be working after dark, so the vampires would all presumably be asleep, and I guess if I identified a nest, I could go back off-the-clock, as it were.

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

What about using a vintage traveling cocktail suitcase? Straps to hold everything in place, for a start.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Oh my, those are lovely! Not nearly as many of them out there, but there's ONE suitable one on eBay for about the same price as the train cases, and I've put a "watch this" on it.

Many train cases have good straps, too. It's why I thought of them.

[kcarp.livejournal.com]

Picnic basket a la Red Riding Hood...

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

There's one on etsy right now, too. One mo, let me see if I can locate the listing.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Bulkier than a train case, unless we're talking the ones from Brookstone's that are more like the cocktail suitcases anyway. And the woven wood isn't anywhere near as sturdy as the vintage luggage.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

If it's more than about $15 including shipping, don't fret yourself. I've already won one of the train cases.

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

AH. Yup. The cheapest is $19 plus shipping.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

The eBay one I'm watching is starting at $7.99 and the shipping is under $10.

[docscarabus.livejournal.com]

what's a train case?

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Like this (http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170476199413&ssPageName=ADME:L:COSI:US:1123) -- an organizer for cosmetics and so on that a lady would take into the train compartment with her, while most of her luggage went in the baggage car. They're very easy to find, although the great majority of them are hard-sided Samsonite plastic or some sort of vinyl; the leather ones (which of course look nicer for a vampire-hunting kit) are not quite as common.

[cluegirl.livejournal.com]

It's generally less than five inches from the ribs to the heart in either direction, (that is, for a solid puncture rather than a little pricking of the muscle,) so adding in a solid five inches by which to grip the thing, you'll want to use ten inch stakes.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

WHICH FIT IN A TRAIN CASE BOOYAH

Vampire-only is a LOT simpler than vampire-and-werewolf, BTW.

[veridianfox.livejournal.com]

Wow a vampire kit huh? Should I be worried? *grin*

I'm thinking 13 inch rowan wood stakes soaked in holy water...

Probably a machete too. You know for lopping off pesky vampire heads.

I wouldn't bother with religious icons or herbs...they're just annoying.

But seriously, why? Vampires are loverly.

[veridianfox.livejournal.com]

PS...

You'll want to include a Yew Wood mallet left in the sun for a day short a fortnight.

Why am I telling you these things? I must have a death wish. :D

[veridianfox.livejournal.com]

PSS...

You'll want to carry a parchment with this inscription on your person...(preferably written with you own blood)

"Aut bibat aut abeat."

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

It's cupcake_goth and kambriel's theory that most of these kits were purchased by actual vampires hoping to put hunters off the scent. And as a form of defensive study.

Also, not ALL of them are loverly -- suppose, instead of a gentlemanly St. Germain or a darling bad boy Lestat, I found myself beset by some horrid Nosferatu who wouldn't take no for an answer? A girl has to protect herself.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I promise not to use it on you unless you're genuinely threatening my life!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Hadn't encountered that before -- please elaborate!

[docscarabus.livejournal.com]

"either drink or get out?"

[docscarabus.livejournal.com]

It only takes three inches to penetrate teh heart (hence the length limits on knives in many states).

However, the Hammer films make it perfectly clear that the stake must remain in or the vampire will spring back to life. Buffy is the first I've seen picking off multiple vamps with a single stake. As such, you might want a few stakes.

Please don't forget cross, holy water, and garlic. Those have been abandoned by recent hunters in favor of PC ecumenicalism. If they were good enough for the voivode from Transylvania, they are good enough for the prettyboy eurotrash vamps of today.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

1) The kit will contain multiple stakes. I think six is good. Four if it's very tight on space.

2) What, and pass up an opportunity to go scouting for attractive old rosaries in the junk stores? Of COURSE there'll be a cross (I'm thinking rosary AND large crucifix), garlic, and holy water (St. Brigid's is right down the street, I'll just dip my bottles in the font, right?).

Now, if I run into one saying "oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire," I'll just have to worry about it then.

[veridianfox.livejournal.com]

Well I think we're both safe then, I've no intention of attacking, lol.

As for "Aut bibat aut abeat..." That's Latin of course, for 'let him drink or depart.' I just liked the sound of it. It's always nice to have a choice. I'm guessing though, once a vampy sees the stakes though, they'll likely go for he 'depart' option. As for writing it in you own blood, well you could always just throw it at them in a scrunched up little ball and hope they're hungry enough to lick the paper while you either a) beat a hasty exit or b) stake them while they're licking the parchment. :D

Sorry I had too much fun with that. Ha ha :D

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Cute, kind, respectful vampires have nothing to fear from me and my hypothetical kit, and might even be Boyfriend Material -- hell, I've got my gallon pin, and I don't insist on the recipient being anonymous. Vampires who annoy me -- having the kit is like carrying pepper spray on my keychain!

I'm amused by the little inscription!

[veridianfox.livejournal.com]

Oh well I'm relieved. I'm cute and respectful. I'm kinda like an Alice from Twilight, although there is no sparkling happening, unless I'm wearing sequins. :D

Well enjoy the inscription...maybe stencil it with gold leaf type paint somewhere on the bag.

Couple more hours until dawn...g2g :D

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

ALICE WAS THE ONLY TOLERABLE CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES. I love Alice. (Jackson Rathbone was cute, but Jasper the character was just meh.)

And sparkling is easy. I have a very nice shimmer body lotion that will make ANYONE sparkle, and no it's NOT a Twilight-themed product.

[ktpinto.livejournal.com]

There are a couple of things you have to think about.

What time period are you going for? Real Victorian or Steampunk? Modern day or in the future? Ancient Rome or WWII?

Next, what mythos of vampires are you fighting? For the Buffy vampires, they can be killed with a pencil or an x-acto knife. With my vampyres, if you throw holy water on them, you're just going to have a wet, pissed off vampyre.

Technically, wouldn't a tackle box of sorts work better than an overnight bag? There are no compartments in luggage. You'll be looking for a stake like a stereotypical woman looks for her lipstick in her over-sized purse.

Oh wait... that's what a train box is, isn't it? It's a big ol' make-up case. That works, again, depending on what time frame you're going for.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Well, I BOUGHT the train cases. Which ARE big ol' makeup boxes, although I bought ones without trays, because with trays you get Samsonite hard sided which is unromantic and undecorative. They do have elastic loops for holding the holy water.

The point is to make it look good -- so, stakes, small sledge, cross/crucifix/rosary, holy water in bottles, garlic, mirror (to see if they reflect), and probably a "medicinal" nip or flask of brandy, in case someone is bitten and partially drained but not turned. (Like early-stage Lucy Westenra.)

The lining in one of the train cases is iffy. May glue in some velvet.