*insert primal scream here*

[rikibeth]

I was feeling JUST FINE about my unpacking progress until my mother got here.

My parents (and my 93-year-old grandmother) came by after seeing the matinee performance of melovechocolate's play so they could pick up an antique mirror that was my other grandmother's.

I really didn't want them to even come in the house. I had WARNED them that it was still all over boxes and they would have to deal with that.

It was okay until I let her upstairs. Where I still had six boxes of baby clothes that I have to sort and itemize so I have a proper receipt for Goodwill to sign off on so I can take the tax deduction. I have several THOUSAND dollars' worth of tax deduction there. I cannot just drop them off with no documentation, and I have nowhere else in the house to put them, because the basement floor IS WET. So they're sitting on my bed.

It still leaves me half the bed to sleep in. It's not great, but guess what? That was a lower priority than dealing with the kitchen, or the bathroom, or keeping the living room to where we could still sit on the couch and see the TV and I could sit at my desk.

And of COURSE melovechocolate's room isn't all unpacked yet either. She's only here half the time! And she's at camp all day! And there have been things we've WANTED to do, like the Harry Potter book release, and getting her hair done so that it wouldn't be crayola red for the play... I figured I could get on her case about unpacking when we got BACK from the week's vacation in Maine.

Which I don't even want to go to now. At all. Because it will mean dealing with my mother for an entire week. After I wound up screaming at her to get out of my house.

AUGH. I unpacked most of the kitchen yesterday. I still have BriAnne's big box to sort through (I wanted to wait until she was here to help me with it 'cause it's Her Stuff) and two boxes of assorted Tupperware that I have to go through and figure out what exactly I'm keeping, which is to say not much of it, probably, just the expensive pantry-storage ones, and what i'm getting rid of. Yesterday when I was unpacking I got rid of three boxes of assorted Things to Freecycle, and today I dropped off two boxes of unwanted dishes and one bag of unwanted sheets-and-towels to the Salvation Army that's just down the road.

One thing I HAVE unpacked already? The liquor cabinet. Which has Bacardi. And when I was at Wild Oats last week I bought a bottle of pineapple-coconut juice. So I am having a therapeutic pina colada right now.

And trying not to break down sobbing.

I don't think I'm letting my mother into my house EVER AGAIN.

Comments

[faithhopetricks.livejournal.com]

Ohh hon. Oh that's just awful. I'm so sorry.

BUT. Eventually, you will be all unpacked and in your beautiful house!

For right now, have another pina colada.

((hugs you hard))

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

(hugs back)

Yes. Yes I will have another pina colada thank you very much.

The worst of this is, I was actually feeling MOTIVATED to unpack more, until she showed up, and now I don't want to do any of it at all.

I bet you know the feeling.

[florahart]

Wait, you just moved, you have priorities about what gets unpacked, and your mother had a cow?

Jesus. What. The. Fuck.

*sends more rum*

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Well, my mother had a QUIET cow. All "but how do you sleep?" and "I thought this new place would be EASIER for you but it still looks awful." I was the one who started yelling.

Because when she is around, I can't be a grownup.

*drinks more rum* -- actually, the Bacardi is one of those big bottles with a handle, and yes, I AM having a second pina colada.

[head-shrinker.livejournal.com]

Recipe for disaster:

1 shift of living quarters
1 mother

Mix and stand back. Preferably several thousand miles back.

You have my utmost sympathy. ::hug::

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

::hugs back::

[alchemine.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. I wanted to kill both my mother and my teenage sister when I moved last year. They helped me a lot with the packing, but when they started lecturing me about how I ought to spend my money, I was a nut-hair away from telling them both to fuck off and go home. We've made up since then, but I still get all "grrr" when I think about it.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Grrr lectures.

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

Sometimes parents suck at being understanding. I try to tell myself that they don't mean to be a$$holes. ;)

Also, you may want to check out the maximum tax deduction you can take for donated clothes without having to have very detailed documentation and break up your donation into several years worth. I have been doing that with the "fat clothes" for a couple of years now. Unfortunately, I can't remember the max $$, but Turbo Tax tells me about it every year.

Good luck. Rum is good. :)

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Well, if I have to break it up into several years' worth, I will, but detailed documentation is why I need to COUNT the wretched things. I know the valuation rules -- you get to claim them at what they can sell them for. And Goodwill has a nice online spreadsheet even. So I'll type up a nice list -- X onesies at $Y each, X toddler dresses...

I totally need as much tax deduction as I can get 'cause I won't have the mortgage deduction any more.

[eal.livejournal.com]

Oh man, have I been there.

I'm the daughter of the original neatniks. I swear.

Housecleaning every Saturday; floors so clean I don't worry AT ALL about B eating from them.

We'll go with -- I'm not like that. It has taken oh easily a dozen blow ups and two bannings to get my mother to knock it the hell off. She now brings a book with her and reads. She used to "clean up" for me -- narrowly missed throwing out an entire stack of papers I was grading. Yeah, not pretty that.

{{{{hugs}}}}

Damn, a pina colada sounds good about now :)

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

My mother has a cleaning service. She has had one for years and YEARS.

And I do not think she has done a U-Haul style move since before I was born.

And none of her moves have been while holding down a full time job either.

My GRANDMOTHER was more understanding than my mom!

[auspeople.livejournal.com]

I can add nothing to the above other than to say that I'm really glad my parents aren't like this.

All they do is call me a liberal. Which I somehow still consider an insult.

Try a mojito next. *hic*

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I had to stop drinking because I had to go to melovechocolate's play.

However, afterwards, I had a burger, and sweet potato fries, and a turtle sundae.

And one of melovechocolate's friends decided I was "cool" based on my MCR shirt and the band buttons all over my purse. Okay, I should not actually care if 12-year-olds think I am cool, but it was sort of entertaining.

So things are a little better.

[fabricdragon.livejournal.com]

i never let my mother in my house
i would need more than a pina colada. may i suggest upgrading to a nice frozen margarita? followed by a nice pitcher of gin and tonic?

its boxes.. boxes are not a problem, if she cant deal with it then she can pay for the basement treatments.. right?

see you after pennsic.....

[ashbet]

Oh, MAN, I understand that feeling very well -- EVERY time my mother comes over, she RADIATES disapproval about my housekeeping (and that's on the good visits -- on the bad ones, she starts lecturing and I get shrill and defensive.)

There's something about parents who REALLY know how to push our buttons . . . :/

*hugs you, joins you in the pina coladas*

-- A <3

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

frozen margarita would mean messing with a blender. rocks would be easier, I could just pour from the bottle of Cuervo and the bottle of mix in the fridge.

don't stock gin, 'cause I don't much like it.

I opted for ice cream sundae instead.

see you after pennsic!

[labellerose.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, hun. My biological family are by and large my biggest critics so I feel your pain.

Just put your feet up and remember my motto ' Illigitimati non carborundrum! (Don't let the bastards grind you down) .

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I used to have a mug that said that on it, but it broke.

[ap-aelfwine.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm sorry to hear. That's bloody rotten of your mother.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

She just DOES NOT GET IT about unpacking being only one priority in my life, and how I am not going to put off eating, sleeping, and socializing just to be unpacked fastest.

Not to mention time spent at DMV, and, oh, I have this thing called a JOB...

[gem225.livejournal.com]

My mother could do that to me, and did, often, and then looked surprised that I was upset by it. One of the things that I *don't* miss about her.

*hugs*

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* thanks.

[shadowflyer.livejournal.com]

So do I get a posthumous pardon for the number of times I WANTED to throw Jill out of the house and you STOPPED me?

[tubin.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain.

I'm lucky enough to have an older brother who was talented at, well, lowering their expectations :)

But my parents were still sufficiently overbearing that I had major anxiety over whether they'd still accept me if I dropped out of an MD/PhD program and just did the MD instead. Had to have a friend laugh in my face and say "you're worried your parents will reject you for getting only ONE doctorate?"

To me, it sounds like you've been doing amazing stuff. You're already past the critical-gotta-have-it-to-live unpacking, and now dealing with subtleties like clearing out things that have apparently been in storage for a while. Sounds like you're seriously catching up on years worth of backlog, amazingly quickly after the move. Too bad your parents aren't clued in enough to get that!

I have a couple unpacked boxes and I've lived in this house since 1996...

[shadowflyer.livejournal.com]

By the way, if it helps any? Even nice, happy islands of hotness stability of our mutual acquaintance have the very same frustrations. http://tesla-aldrich.livejournal.com/29767.html

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is comforting.

I'm trying to live by a combination of Flylady and misia's precepts, with additional inspiration from noelfigart. I have even considered looking at the Chore Wars site for motivation -- but before I can get to chores, I have to unpack!

Still. That's very cool, that you've gotten back in touch with herself, there.

[tikvah.livejournal.com]

I completely understand.

Grrrrr...

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Yikes!

::hugs::

You'll get things done as you get them done. It's taken me many years to get my mother to understand this concept.