Best. Latkes. Ever.

[rikibeth]

Out of all the eight nights of Hanukkah, there were only two this year when all three of us would be in the house: last Thursday, and tonight. I didn't have the energy on Thursday, so I made our annual latke feast tonight.

For three people, I used five pounds of russet potatoes, two smallish onions, two eggs, and enough salt. No flour, no matzo meal, no baking powder; flour and matzo meal make the latkes heavy, and trying to lighten them with baking powder makes them bitter. These are latkes as the Flying Spaghetti Monster intended -- pure potato goodness.

Here is what you do: you peel the potatoes. You can do this ahead of time; just leave the peeled potatoes in a bowl of cold water, so they don't discolor.

When you're ready to grate them, also peel the onions. You can grate them by hand on a box grater (watch out for your knuckles) or a wire safety grater -- the safety grater gives the best texture, but it takes kind of a long time and leaves your arm sore. I do as my father the engineer did, and use a food processor. First put everything through on the grating disk, and then pulverize the shreds with the chopping blade. You'll want to get the onion into the mix pretty early, because onions are full of antioxidants and keep the potatoes from turning funny colors. You'll want a mixing bowl to hold the shreds, and another to hold the puree, unless you've got a commercial-capacity RobotCoupe or something -- five pounds is too much for the workbowl of your average household processor, so you'll need to work in batches.

When all you have is a bowl of puree, dump it into a colander that you've lined with a kitchen towel. NOT paper towels, they'll disintegrate. NOT terrycloth, the puree will stick to the nap. Linen tea towel, or flour sack towel, or one of those gauze not-prefolded "diapers" that people only ever use as burp cloths, or scrap muslin, or several layers of cheesecloth if that's the best you can do. Gather up the cloth around the puree. Wring out EVERY LAST BIT OF LIQUID YOU CAN MANAGE. This is the secret, right here. If you get the potato mixture nice and dry, you don't need flour or matzo meal to absorb the moisture, and they will fry up crisp and delicious.

Sprinkle generously with kosher salt, and mix in two eggs. I know of no better method than squishing them in with your hands. The sink's right there.

Heat oil in a heavy skillet until shimmering. (A griddle doesn't hold the depth of oil you need.) Drop in spoonfuls of the mixture. Flatten them out nicely. When they're browned around the edges, flip them over and cook the other side.

Remove to a baking sheet lined with a brown paper grocery bag. Eat them as soon as they're cool enough to pick up. Latke night does not require plates. It requires everyone hanging around in the kitchen and eating them as you fry them. The cook, too.

I did put the last two latkes of mine onto a small plate so I could enjoy them with a spoonful of sour cream. But it's not necessary. Some people like applesauce. I don't.

Nothing else is served for dinner on latke night. Nutrition be damned. We've got a miracle to celebrate here.

Comments

[kittenmommy.livejournal.com]

Take a potato, pat pat pat
Roll it and make it flat flat flat
Fry in a pan with fat fat fat
Hanukkah latkes, clap clap clap!

Yeah, I learned that song in kindergarten...? First grade? IDEK. Nearly 40 years later, and I still remember it.

Because my goodness, LATKES DO WANT! :D

[tanyahp.livejournal.com]

Love it! I am an applesauce girl, myself, but I respect the sour cream aficionados.

[txanne.livejournal.com]

So, uh, do you mind if I appropriate your culture sometime? Because those sound SO GOOD.

[tamidon.livejournal.com]

Michael Ruhlman recommends using men's cotton hankies for things like this

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

*bookmarking for future reference*

[sapphorlando.livejournal.com]

For about the eleventyumpteenth time, I'm wishing I'd grabbed a tuna press on my way out of Subway. (Subway doesn't even use them anymore, haven't in years, meaning there are about twenty thousand of them just hanging around somewhere. They're made by a company called Nemco and worth a couple hundred bucks new.) It's a manual screw device you hang on the side of sink. Invert a #5 can of whatever you want to get the juice out of, with the (cut off) lid still in place, and slowly screw away. I realised early on that you could put anything in the empty can and press the fluid out. Having had to squeeze out tuna by hand since then, I've really been wanting one. I think it might be perfect for this.

I was raised Episcopalian and followed a similar route to yours, still hanging on to many old cultural traditions without attaching mystical deific significance to them. I made my family's Christmas pudding last Sunday, right on schedule (the old Anglican Stir-up Sunday), and it is curing until the 25th, when we'll reheat it, tip it out, douse it in booze and light it on fire.

Here's to traditions involving food and fire!

[wikdsushi.livejournal.com]

I need to make latkes.

[donnad.livejournal.com]

Sounds yummy, I may need to make some latkes this week. Hearing everyone talk about their latke feasts is making me want some.

My family is not Jewish (Roman Catholic) but my Grandmother used to make what she called potato pancakes, which I now know as Latkes.

My recipe for them, that was never written down by my grandmother, but rather by me so it would be preserved, does not list quantities, but it is similar, except we used baking powder and a tiny bit of flour. Grate some potato and some onion, drain it, add a little milk, some baking powder and just enough flour to make it the consistancy of pancake batter. Fry them in about an inch of oil in the fry pan. Served with sour cream AND applesauce.

[ceo]

We had a little latke party the other night with some friends. I'm not even remotely Jewish, and one of our guests isn't either, so guess who was making the latkes. :-)

[pentane.livejournal.com]

When reading this (especially the end) I was reminded of Warren Ellis' description of his 4AM mixes.

'The 4AM mix is reduced to 128 of your kilobits and does not love children.'

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

This is a glorious Latke recipe.

*makes a note*